Well today began Day 1 of my 21 day journey with NLP. Now I have to be honest, I don’t know exactly where this journey is going to lead me or what I will be doing day to day – which is both daunting and exciting. I am being guided by the book ‘NLP in 21 Days’ by Harry Alder and Beryl Heather which gives me daily learnings and new steps to take.
Today’s learning is called ‘How People Tick’. The chapter in the book talks about subjective experience; that is, the fact that each one of us experiences ‘reality’ through the unique lenses of our own lives and experiences. The book tells us that: “Nobody really knows how anybody else thinks, let alone what they think. We each think we know ‘reality’. So called ‘experience’, therefore, differs enormously from person to person. We each perceive the world in which we live uniquely and subjectively. We see things differently”.
Based on this theory that there is no one true ‘reality’, NLP tells us that we can manipulate the external stimuli which we perceive to create new experiences. For example, you can recall a memory and change it – whether intentionally or unintentionally. This ability to manipulate experience offers a simple route to personal change, e.g. you can change how you feel or your state of mind by ‘representing’ the offending thoughts and memories in more positive ways.
This is really empowering as it means we can actually create our experiences, rather than just reacting to outside circumstances or past conditioning. This ability to choose our responses can help us to create and mould our own realities.
Today’s presupposition is ‘the map is not the territory’. Each of us has our own subjective ‘map’ of the world and how it operates. Our map represents what goes on around us, what things mean to us, and what we believe and feel about them, i.e. our perceptions. Every person’s map differs from everyone else’s. The territory on the other hand is true reality.
So…
‘The map (our subjective, limited perception) is not the territory (of reality)’
Based on this – we can change our reality (the territory) by choosing a different map (or perception; way of seeing things).
Today’s To Do’s:
1. Memorise the presupposition for today and notice 3 or more situations where it seems to apply.
It was interesting taking a back seat today and noticing where this presupposition occurred. I saw it happen between members of my family who were both talking about the same situation, but seeing it from totally different outlooks. I also noticed it in a conversation I was having with a friend about a past event we had both experienced – and how we both had slightly different interpretations of what the event meant.
2. Think of a person you often disagree with or cannot get on with. List some of the filters each of you usually apply to ‘facts’. Notice how, logically, you will form different maps of reality. Then notice how you now feel about the person.
This was a very valuable exercise for me to undertake. I’m sure each one of us has somebody in our lives who we simply cannot get on with! I took the time out to list some of the different filters we both had, and realized why this would make us without a doubt have totally different filters or maps. We both are of different ages, from different cultural and religious backgrounds, grew up in different types of families, have different kinds of friends, and have different values. Of course it would be difficult for us to get on! Doing this exercise made me realize that I am not necessarily ‘in the right’ in my dealings with this person. Rather, each one of us is simply operating from the perspective we have formed as a result of our different filters. There is no right or wrong.
3. In preparation for tomorrow, write down several personal goals you want to achieve. You can choose specific objectives or just desires, wishes or dreams.
I wrote down the following goals/desires:
• Run a successful coaching business
• Improve the level of my health and fitness
• Be a great role model to my unborn child
• Become more organized in my personal and business affairs
What am I taking away from today?
So today was a great lesson in observing how each one of us are different and each one of us perceives life differently. I definitely feel less inclined to jump on my ‘high horse’ and say that I am right and another person is wrong. Instead, I feel a lot more able to try and understand where other people might be coming from, and what maps they are using to navigate reality.
Posts
.JPG)